Our Love Story Part 1: The Meet Up

Who doesn’t like a good love story? Ok, maybe many people, but I love them and I love sharing the story of how Kaleb, my husband, and I met and got to the married part where I called him my husband and he called me his wife. It’s a story that only God could orchestrate in His perfect timing, which is why I love reliving it. And why it will take two long blogs to share. Please note: Kaleb has read this and knows everything. Anyone else mentioned by name has given me permission to do so. It was Friday, May 10, 2014. I was headed with my good friend Amber to a youth leader’s meeting at the youth pastor’s house (this guy’s name is Josh). We arrived, parked, and started walking to the back where we would meet at the firepit. We were the first to arrive, but as I looked toward the firepit, there was not only Josh but another guy as well, who looked relatively similar.

Instantly I knew it was Kaleb. At this point, I had only seeing him on Facebook. Once. Like 6 months prior. But I knew Kaleb was Josh’s younger brother and they looked like brothers. I did not know he was visiting that weekend or would be there though. Why would I? We didn’t know each other. Josh’s wife, Jeanne, however, had that little fun thought about becoming a matchmaker for Kaleb, who she knew was single, and this other girl at church she sort of knew, who was also single. Me.

Jeanne had mentioned Kaleb to me. But he was living and working out of state and it was at a time that wasn’t right for me to be investigating a new relationship. I also did not do long distance nor did I find him very attractive on Facebook when I looked him up.

At some point she had mentioned me to Kaleb as well, but also at a time that wasn’t very good for him.

End of story there. For a time.

Now I was seeing Kaleb in person. Yes, he was more attractive in person than how I had perceived him on Facebook. And there I was, my hair crazy and dressed to play volleyball later that evening. Was any of this secretly planned?

I knew quickly he was more of the quiet type. I didn’t think or worry much about it though. We barely talked that night but had a good time with the whole group that was there.

Next was Sunday. Church. He was there. Whatever.

After the service, I was invited to attend a lunch with the pastor’s family and Josh and Jeanne’s family (Jeanne and the pastor’s wife are sisters) and of course, Kaleb. Well, yeah! Sure. I had nothing else to do and would love to have a home cooked meal that I didn’t have to make. But really, why did you ask?

The afternoon was nice. A little small talk took place but still not a whole lot of conversation. It was only a little awkward. What was going on here? Again, whatever. It didn’t matter. We departed and Kaleb was headed back out of state.

Two days later came the Facebook friend request. Definitely from Kaleb. Of course. But okay, what did this mean?

Being a nice person who likes to give people a chance, I accepted it.

Next came the Facebook Message. I knew it. But really? I mean come on. He was going to be that predictable guy. Apparently, I had intrigued him even though we really hadn’t talked that much. I don’t remember every word, but he was coming back in two weeks for Memorial Day Weekend and wanted to go out on a date. Whoa. Already? Great.

I actually told him no, and we joke about it to this day. But in my defense, I did give him a second option. I asked Amber, who was married with kids, if they would be willing to go on a double date with us on Memorial Day since no one worked that day and I had a childhood friend coming in to visit for the other parts of the weekend. They agreed and I presented Kaleb with that option.

He respectfully accepted my plan B.

To this point in my life, I had been through a lot personally and relationally. I was still on a healing journey and needed to be careful how I handled relationships emotionally. I wasn’t super comfortable going on a one on one date that quickly after meeting Kaleb, so what was truly right and healthy for me was to make it more casual and do the double date thing. I was very thankful he respected those boundaries I placed.

Memorial Weekend rolled around and I didn’t see him until Sunday at church. My friend and I had been invited to the pastor’s lake house about 40 minutes north of Fort Wayne to hang out and be out on the lake that afternoon. That was an easy yes. I love being on the lake! And it “just happened to work out” where my friend would drive us to the lake and head back home from there. And Kaleb would be able to drive me back to Fort Wayne so we could attend my church’s young adult group that evening.

Perfect. We ended up having that drive (aka one on one time) before we even had our double date the following day. And it ended up being an enjoyable drive.

We were able to share a little more about our backgrounds and some small bits of our testimonies of how the Lord had been at work in our lives growing up. This time became a time that made me more intrigued and interested in this guy.

The next day came, Kaleb picked me up and we met Ben and Amber at a sushi restaurant. Kaleb managed the combination of being made fun of for eating with kids’ chopsticks as well as paying for the entire meal. It was definitely a fun time and I was thankful Ben and Amber were able to meet him.

Kaleb had to leave that day to head back to his job out of state. We parted with the understanding we were both at least interested in staying in touch, but really didn’t know what anything would look like. He did mention wanting to move back to the area because he was tired of living in a hotel and working 80-hour weeks all away from family. He grew up in Kokomo, about an hour and a half from Fort Wayne, and he was close with Josh even though they were nine years apart. I didn’t blame him, I just made him promise he wouldn’t move back for me. He agreed (though lied right between his teeth).

The summer is a bit of a blur except for a couple things. I talked with my pastor about how to handle the situation. I wasn’t going to get into a long-distance relationship. It just wasn’t an option. But we did want to get to know each other better and see what would happen with his job situation.

Kaleb and I texted quite a bit and talked on the phone. It was decided that we would have some intentional conversations about our stories, values, what we were looking for in a future spouse and family, etc. Afterall, we were both in a place where we wanted to find someone to marry and not just mess around with dating just to date.

Kaleb was willing to have these somewhat planned out phone conversations even though it probably wasn’t his first choice. Again, he respected how I needed to go about our friendship during this time. Which was basically to get to know him better without getting too emotionally involved or attached. In that sense, the long distance really helped.

The phone conversations were beneficial and went well. After we had talked about most of the important things, phone calls grew less and less. He visited a couple other times that summer but I can’t remember what we did except at one point, I got to take a quick ride with him on his motorcycle. It was one of those bikes that looks really cool and is really fast but did not have a backrest or handles. I either had to hug him or hold his belt to hold on for dear life. Wonderful. Not awkward at all. Not wanting to say why it was uncomfortable and still wanting to take a ride, I went with it and resorted to holding his belt.

We were mainly just texting for the rest of the summer during which he did end up landing a job in Fort Wayne. He would move back Labor Day Weekend. I was excited for him but had no idea where things would go with us. We were not close to dating and it wasn’t like there was this huge spark that was igniting and about to go off with him moving back.

Or was there?

As it got closer to him moving back, we decided to go out for ice cream on that Saturday night of Labor Day Weekend. Now I was a little nervous. We hadn’t talked in person or on the phone in quite some time. What was he thinking? I didn’t even know what I was thinking or feeling.

It was a 50/50 toss up in my book.