Our Love Story Part 2: From Ice Cream to “I Do”

I have no clue if we hugged upon greeting or what we even talked about that night. What I do remember clearly thinking after about an hour of talking over Coldstone Creamery ice cream was, “Man, it is so much better to be together in person!”

By the way, to this day, and probably forever, neither of us are big phone talkers. Kaleb is probably worse than me. Imagine that when I asked him to have phone conversations about some of the deepest parts about us after having barely known each other. That takes a special guy right there.

But in just that hours’ time on a beautiful Saturday night, while not yet knowing he would be “the one,” I knew this was a guy I wanted to continue to get to know and be around.

We quickly started hanging out a lot. We went on some dates. It was only about two weeks later we were out on a particular date at a restaurant called The Lucky Moose. Kaleb was a lucky moose that night.

He officially asked me to be his girlfriend, and I gladly obliged. We basically were already dating by then, but we became official that night. Whatever the terminology is these days. The main thing I advise others on is to just make sure they’re on the same page, whatever needs to be said or asked to make that happen.

Not too long after that, I remember a night where we met at a gym to watch a girl from our church play volleyball. We met at IHOP afterward for some food and additional time together. I remember getting out of our separate vehicles, coming together and Kaleb with a big smile on his face picked me up and swung me around. It was one of those small, spontaneous yet romantic and sweet gestures that puts you on cloud nine. Yes, all the feels and a moment I will never forget.

It didn’t end there.

We talked for a long time that night in the booth we sat in across from one another. I got into a lot more of my story. You know, the messier parts we don’t always share right off the bat. Things from my past. Things I struggled with. Some of my deeper hurts and lowest points that had a huge impact on who I was that day. Kaleb listened. He never judged. He was a safe place.

Then came the end of the conversation. It was getting late so we weren’t going to talk much longer, but he told me there were some things from his past he wanted to share with me as well the next time we were together. Yikes. What did that mean?

Driving home that night I had so much emotion flowing through me. I remember thinking and even saying out loud, “God, what are you doing? Is this really the guy you have for me? Is this it?” I was really falling for this guy, yet I also feared what he was going to tell me and what it might mean. Pretty quickly, amid that emotion, peace came over me and all I knew was I would have to be ready to forgive. Who he was now was not the same guy he had been. And after all, I had also been forgiven.

This is exactly what happened the next time we were together. He openly shared, we talked about it, and I quickly forgave, in which he was grateful for after not knowing how I would respond.

Things continued from there really as they had been. We spent as many evenings after work as we could together even living 20 minutes apart. I truly just loved being with him. His presence provided reassurance and security. He was manly, strong, calm, funny, endearing, humble, loved Jesus and showed me true value, chivalry and respect. We had so many similar interests and had a lot of fun working as a team on different tasks whether it was dishes, loading and unloading kayaks or anything in between.

One night that fall we hung out at his brother’s house. We were heading out and saying goodbye in the driveway. He asked if he could kiss me. I told him I wasn’t ready for that yet and again, he showed me complete respect for that boundary I drew. I was proud of myself for listening to my discomfort about that and being able to say no. We joke today about how I rejected him. And it didn’t just happen once. But twice.

I don’t know how much time was in between but the second time he asked, he was dropping me off back home. I told him I was getting closer but still wasn’t ready. I felt bad this time. I wanted to be ready but still had some hesitancy in my spirit and held to that.

Heading into my house (duplex rental really) I wondered if he would ever want to ask again, fearing being rejected a third time. I did my best to just trust the Lord, His timing and let Him work that out.

Again, not knowing how much time was in between (not too much though), we were hanging out at my place one evening. Somehow, we got talking on the kissing topic. I think Kaleb asked me why I was hesitant or if there was some reason I wasn’t comfortable with it.

This was perfect. Thank you, Jesus! Your timing truly is perfect. Within me that night, I knew I was ready. And because Kaleb asked about it, I was able to tell him discreetly that I was ready while getting to share more of my heart on the matter.

I had never kissed anyone before, so it was just something I took more seriously. I didn’t feel like I needed to wait until engagement or my wedding day, but it signaled a further step in the relationship to me, so it mattered.

He really respected everything I had to say. And was surprised I had never kissed anyone before. That wasn’t his story, but I knew that.

That night, we had our first kiss. And it was one awesome first kiss. My first and only first kiss. And his last first kiss.

We were saying goodbye for the night. The door was open. I was inside. He was outside. My hope came true. He asked again if he could kiss me, and I said yes. He leaned in and kissed me twice with two short but meaningful pecks.

I couldn’t have asked for a better first kiss. And it had little to do with the physical part of it but the fact that I was at peace within myself and with God, so it made the emotional experience of it so rich and rewarding.

Dating continued. I knew this guy was it by this point. I finally understood what it meant that “once you know, you know.” It was officially something I was experiencing.

Kaleb came with me to meet my family over Thanksgiving. He had already met my mom at a prior visit but he met my dad, brother and some relatives that weekend. He truly fit right in.

Right around Thanksgiving we started talking about engagement/marriage. Kaleb even started showing me some rings. It was crazy. Yes, it was happening fast. But at the same time, it was right. We both knew. We were on the same page. And we had peace with God that this was right. He had put the two of us together.

It was a really fun and exciting time in our lives.

Early in December we planned a downhill skiing trip with two of Kaleb’s friends who were engaged. We both love downhill skiing and just casually talked about planning a trip to go. It would be something different and something to look forward to! I never realized how much, however.

As we discussed marriage and timing of everything, we put different months out there of when it would make sense and work well to get married. Without going into those details, we found that the following May would probably be the best. But whoa, that was so soon!

We stopped talking about it for awhile for the rest of December. Part of that was because we just didn’t need to talk about it anymore. And part of it was me leaving the rest (like the engagement) up to Kaleb. I didn’t want to manipulate or try to figure out when he was going to propose. But I was ready. And I waited…and waited. It didn’t happen over Christmas. It didn’t happen over New Years.

Okay, what was going on? I wanted to be surprised but knew it was going to be hard for Kaleb to pull off a surprise. (He can be a pretty predictable guy and we both knew that I knew it was coming soon.) I mainly just tried to keep my hopes and expectations reasonable and in check.

But really, if we talked about a May wedding, why isn’t this thing happening? It wouldn’t happen on our ski trip because we would be out of town with two people I didn’t know very well rather than family or friends. I needed to just let it be and let it happen.

We went to Crystal Mountain in the northern part of Michigan. It was a fun weekend but different being with Kaleb’s two friends I barely knew. (I do know them better now and they are a fantastic family.) It was cloudy and very cold. My gloves were horrible. Kaleb bought me a much warmer pair at the ski shop.

We had lunch at the lodge and then decided to get some pictures at the top to document the trip. We took off our skis and found a good place. It was the only time the whole day that the sun peeked out from behind the clouds, illuminating the mountain where we stood.

Kaleb’s friends took a picture of Kaleb and me. I started walking away, then turned back around, and there was Kaleb, a third of his height shorter, down on one knee.

I took a step back. Utter shock.

“What the heck?!” I think that’s all I said for a whole minute being so taken aback.

I barely heard what he said, but it was something along the lines of, “I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” Apparently he was so nervous, he lost most of his words.

It took awhile to say yes because it was the last thing I was expecting. I think I even made him a little nervous.

“Absolutely!” with a massive, even to the point of being cheesy, smile on my face. I told him I loved him too (we both did in that moment for the first time). I pulled off my glove and had the most beautiful ring put on my finger. Simple. Unique. Elegant. Everything I had secretly hoped for in a ring.

No wonder he made sure I had warmer gloves no matter how much they cost.

This was it. I was engaged. I could hardly believe it. He had pulled off a surprise big time.

It was so fun sharing the news with friends and family. And I could hardly stop staring at my ring. It was hard to even get work done that following week.

Now. Four months to plan a wedding. Phew!

We had to nail down a date, find a place, find a photographer, get our engagement pictures taken, pick out the colors, food, flowers, decorations and set up, figure out the bridal party and guest list, pick out dresses and tuxes, plan the ceremony, reception and all the details in between, book a honeymoon, get premarital counseling, figure out where we were going to live and how we would do our budget going forward, and have our bachelor and bachelorette parties. All on a pretty strict budget.

And you know what?

We did it! With a lot of help, conversations and purposeful planning, we did it.

And we had a beautiful day with the most important people in our lives. Looking back, yeah, I wish some things had gone better and that I had done some things differently. But at the end of the day, we were married, and that’s what mattered. The wedding day is simply a day marking a beginning. The beginning of two becoming one. And we had forever to look forward to.

“So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:6