30 for 30: 30 Things I Learned in My 20’s

Enjoy some of things I've taken away from this past decade. It truly has been quite a big 10 years, and I'm forever grateful for the places I've been able to go, people I've been able to meet and walk through life with, and the growth that has brought me to where I am today.

1. A lot of change happens in your 20’s. Changes for me include going from college to graduation to my first career for eight years, keeping up childhood friendships from far away to navigating new ones multiple times, going from being single and navigating potential relationships to dating to engaged to married to married with kids, and going from college dorm living to living with a family to living on my own to living with two different roommates in two different places to living with my husband in four different places including two homes.

2. People in their 20’s need a lot of grace and support. No wonder it typically becomes a time of a lot of self-discovery. We’re on our own for the first time and navigating so many changes. There’s going to be confusion, bad decisions made, loneliness, heartbreak, realizations from our childhood, falling down and getting back up again, etc.

3. Emotions do matter and can be part of the way God speaks to you when your heart is set on following Him. No, they should not be the only things that guide your decisions; but they absolutely are valid in processing situations and decisions.

4. Going along with that, if something doesn’t feel or seem right, confront what those feelings are and where they’re coming from no matter how hard it might be. Ignoring it or shoving it under the rug will probably lead to future heartbreak or harder problems you don’t want. If something feels out of place, it probably is. And the sooner you confront it, the better. Your future self will thank you.

5. You need to be able to ask for help. We can’t do life on our own and it’ll be a whole lot richer and fuller when we let trusted people into our weak areas and struggles and simply ask for help.

6. Friendships new and old can sometimes be hard to navigate. Find the ones who you can be yourself with and know they will love you no matter what, where you can pick up right back where you left off if it's been awhile, where it's a two way street. They will care just as much about you as you do about them.

7. Different doesn’t necessarily mean bad or wrong. Whether it’s your schedule, priorities, things you spend your time on, hopes and dreams, etc. they can all change in a blink of an eye. But that doesn’t mean it’s bad. The important part is to keep Christ at the center through the change.

8. It’s worth waiting for the right guy. I don’t believe that there is only one right person for everyone, but I do believe there are better matches than others.

9. Whether it is in God’s plan for you to marry or not, there is someone out there who can love you for exactly who you are without trying to be someone else or having it all together. Once I believed this, it brought me a lot of peace.

10. Just because a job is hard or you question if you’re in the right place and doing the right thing, doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to quit and try something else. Learning and growing through the hard parts of a job is worth who you become on the other side until God says it’s time for something new or for the next step.

11. God’s timing is perfect if you choose to trust it, even if it doesn’t make sense in the present.

12. Counseling is awesome. I see no shame in it and think the strongest people are those who admit they have struggles and need some extra help.

13. Driving through the night in a car for two nights in a row is not a good idea.

14. Giving truly is greater than receiving, especially when done with a cheerful and willing heart. I’ve had many opportunities to give financially, and I have found freedom in being able to say no instead of guilty for not wanting to. Waiting for the times where God really places a specific need, person or mission on my heart is worth waiting for and listening to.

15. Dreams, hopes and desires you believe God gave you may not mean they will happen that year, in the next three to five years, decade or two decades. Maybe not even in your lifetime. Like King David, his dream of building a temple was fulfilled through his son, Solomon. But still dream and dream big! Just let God’s plan and timing guide it. Sometimes, something lands right in front of you that fits your dreams beautifully without originally seeing it.

16. Following God has a natural and peaceful flow to it. It’s easy to try to force something to happen thinking it’s his plan at that moment, but it may not be for that time. This doesn’t mean life is easy within His plan, but there is a deep rooted peace that goes with it.

17. Rest is crucial and will look different for everyone. It doesn’t mean you have to stay home and do nothing (though it may for you). And it’s okay to schedule time for it and tell people you’re busy during that time. Besides grocery shopping, shopping by myself is one of my things.

18. Boundaries are essential and a part of personal growth, especially emotional boundaries. People pleasing (letting other people control your decisions, how you act, what you wear, what you do, etc.) will break you down.

19. Self-discipline is hard but worth it and a part of boundary development. Areas this can be practiced are managing finances, mental health, nutrition, fitness, time management and the ability to say no to people and things that are not healthy for you.

20. Going for walks, hiking, climbing and scrambling, visiting local coffee shops, going out for breakfast, getting lost in a good book, movie or show, taking short getaway trips with your husband/wife/best friend, and watching your kids helping each other out and making each other laugh are some of the best things ever.

21. Sprint triathlons are better than half marathons. The variety is better for your body anyway. Okay, it's better for my body.

22. It is totally worth investing in a nice king-sized bed when you get married. We LOVE our bed!

23. Seeking God’s face and worshiping Him is the best thing you can put time towards. It is also the hardest daily battle you will ever have to fight. I believe Satan has the best schemes for pulling people away from quality time spent with God in the secret, quiet place.

24. Marriage is awesome.

25. Parenting is really hard. (But also awesome.)

26. Potty training may be even harder. (With no awesome whatsoever.)

27. If you want your marriage to get stronger and your parenting to get better as time goes on, it takes a lot of humility, forgiveness, intentionality and hard work. But, that’s a good thing! Since when does hard work not pay off and laziness pay off? I believe God uses these roles to continue working on us and moving us toward holiness.

28. Following Jesus and pleasing God is more important than what others around you want for you, including your parents. Yes, we always need to honor our parents, but that doesn’t mean we always do what they want for us once we start making our own decisions for our own life.

29. Life is an uphill climb. It's hard. It gets messy and ugly sometimes. But God is faithful through those times. It’s been the times I’ve been at my lowest and weakest that I have been the closest to my Lord and Savior and grown the most. And that is what has made life so much more abundant and beautiful.

30. Your 30’s will continue to be filled with even more changes, ups and downs, learning and growth. For me, I’m moving to my next career and starting my own business. 30's, here I come!